Monday, July 20, 2009

DOG PHILOSOPHY and ART OF LIVING



SHERRY FETCHING THE NEWSPAPER FOR ME

My Friend, Philosopher and Guide

SHERRY & THE ART OF LIVING
Food for Thought
By

VIKRAM KARVE

If you want to learn the Art of Living just observe the way animals live and react to situations.

For me, my pet Doberman girl Sherry is my best teacher in the Art of Living.
Please see her picture with me alongside and above, fetching the morning newspaper from the compound gate for me. As you can see Sherry is DobermanX – the “X” factor is probably a Rampur Hound.
Sherry behaves spontaneously, joyfully, based on her inner instinct.

She plays, she barks, she chases, she eats and she sleeps in accordance with her natural instinct.

Sherry doesn’t need to go to gym [for physical fitness] or a therapist [for mental fitness].

Sherry is not a Goal Oriented person. She is an Inner Resource Oriented person – in short, a Source Oriented person.

Conventional wisdom teaches us to become goal-oriented. From childhood there are goals set for us to achieve, and when we achieve one goal there is always another goal waiting for us – it is an endless pursuit, a chase which never culminates.

We are taught that a goal oriented person is a person who always succeeds in life. But is there a final destination of success? Do you ever reach your final goal?

Goals are always outside you, goals are in the future, far away from you. Your goals are not in your control. If you design your lifestyle in such a way that your happiness depends on things outside you, things in the future and not in your control, then you may find happiness elusive and you may never be truly content and happy. If you are too result-oriented – you’ll always be chasing horizons.

Remember, if you run after something it runs away from you, and, conversely, if you run away from something it runs after you – so stop running and life a more Source-Oriented life.

Look inwards, discover and harness your inner resources, act instinctively and you will realize your full creative potential.

Like Sherry, you will live spontaneously, unpredictably, act on the spur of the moment and experience the joy of the glorious uncertainties of life rather than get frustrated by them.

You will live a more stress free life too. Have you seen wild animals suffering from stress? [Maybe some domesticated pet animals are stressed-out because we humans put stress on them by imposing our “goals” and demands on the poor hapless pets].

We have become so preoccupied with achieving success that our lives are always heading towards something in the future. In the process, we lose touch with the aliveness and delight of the present. Sherry does not worry about the future, about achieving future goals, but live in the present.

Sherry does not live in the past either. She is very forgiving – even if I scold her, which I never need to do, she is back to her cheerful self in a jiffy and doesn’t hold any grudges either.
Anger is a reality. It happens inside us. Goal Oriented behaviour may result in us suppressing our anger creating stress within us.

Here is a lesson I got one morning from Sherry in Anger Management by Source Oriented living.

Our spacious bungalow, located high up on a hill slope, affords a beautiful panoramic view of the verdant wide green expanse of Girinagar all around.
This morning while we strolled on our lawn sipping rejuvenating cups of piping hot amruttulya tea in the lovely mist and slight drizzle, I noticed Sherry standing alert at the bungalow gate looking intently, focussing on something outside, and gradually getting angry, as evident from her focussed eyes, slow growls, heightened breathing, stiff upright tail and vivid line of hair standing taut on the centre of her neck and back, hackles raised.

I walked towards the gate and looked outside – the object of her attention was a huge white cat that was walking nonchalantly towards the gate, almost defiantly. The moment the cat came close, Sherry suddenly lost her temper, started barking, violently jumping, infuriated with anger, desperately pleading with me to open the gate. The cat stopped dead in her tracks and crouched, and I knew that if I let Sherry out, she would desperately, frenziedly chase the cat down the hill, and if she caught the cat, there would ensue a violent fight to the finish, and most likely it would be the cat who would be finished.

So I just walked away and Sherry realized that I wasn’t going to open the gate, went so wild with rage, that she ran amok, running wildly all round the spacious compound, taking high speed runs, jumping over hedges, barking, chasing, leaping at birds, running fast at top speed round and round the bungalow, till she was totally exhausted, after which she went to her water bowl, lapped up cold soothing water, and lay down on her rug in a cosy manner, calm, tranquil, totally relaxed, her anger totally dissipated and dissolved into peaceful serenity.

That’s what one must do when angry, isn’t it? If you do get angry, get totally and physically angry and dissipate your anger - don't supress your anger.
Let me tell you it works - the moment you sense anger rising within you start exercising, run, jog, take a brisk walk, dance, move your limbs, sway, do something.
Spontaneously do some physical activity till your anger dissipates and exhausts itself into a state of calm.

So, Dear Reader, the next time you start getting angry, do what Sherry does – just start running till your anger disappears and you collapse into a cosy state of peaceful calm and tranquillity.

There is a lot to learn about the “Art of Living” from our animal friends, isn’t it?

So just behave naturally, spontaneously, doing you’re your inner voice and instinct tells you, observe fauna and flora around you, and most importantly, get a pet dog and make him or her your friend, philosopher and guide.

I’ll end with a quote on dogs from Sigmund Freud:

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object-relations -- Sigmund Freud

So here is a Bow Wow – and may you live a more doglike life!

VIKRAM KARVE

Monday, July 13, 2009

Get Rid of Frustration

PATHS TO FRUSTRATION

[Musings]

By

VIKRAM KARVE


Frustration can be a major cause of stress in your daily life and it may be worthwhile to ponder on the various reasons for your frustration.

Well, here is one.

People often become frustrated when they must choose between their personal desires and pleasing other people.

There are five basic ways people react in such situations of conflict between personal goals versus interpersonal relationships and each type of response can be a source of frustration.

EGOIST: First of all, a person may pursue his personal desires and forget about interpersonal relationships. The individual so described would be the EGOIST who cares little about stepping on others as long as he or she gets to the top of the ladder or achieves his or her personal goals. An Egoist’s frustration emanates from the displeasure of others. The others may outwardly smile at him because of his power but they secretly would like to “stab him in the back” and the egoist knows this and it inwardly pricks his conscience deep inside.

ALTRUIST: Second, a person may try to please everyone by setting aside his own aspirations. This individual is afflicted by “The Disease to Please” and is a person who can never say “NO”. His frustration results from lack of personal achievement and the realization that complete altruism is not always self-satisfying.

WHEELER-DEALER: Third, a person may try to achieve all his ambitions and simultaneously please everyone. This person is the typical “Wheeler-Dealer”. He is maximally frustrated, since it is virtually an impossible task to be all things to all people and please everyone, including his own self, all the time in all situations.

HERMIT: Fourth, a person may decide to be an ostrich and bury his head in the sand. This describes the HERMIT. He also becomes very frustrated because he achieves nothing and pleases no one, not even himself.

COMPROMISER: Fifth and finally, one may choose to go halfway. Such a person is the compromiser or the person who can’t seem to make up his mind. But even he is frustrated because he may sacrifice worthwhile personal goals or fail really to please some important people, since he has decided on a middle course.



WORK OUT YOUR OWN SOLUTION:

Dear Reader, sit in silent solitude, close your eyes, reflect, introspect, think of your recent situations of conflict between your personal desires and pleasing others.

Are you an egoist, altruist, wheeler-dealer, hermit or a compromiser?

Or are you somewhere in between?

Do you change with different personal desires and different people, or is your behaviour consistent with everyone?

You have to work out own solution; understanding yourself is the first step.



VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.


http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com

http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve

vikramkarve@hotmail.com

vikramkarve@sify.com

How to get a Good Friend

Agape Love – If You need a Friend get a Dog

By

VIKRAM KARVE


I still remember the apt quote from Gordon Gekko [Michael Douglas] in the classic movie “Wall Street”: If you need a friend, get a dog.

It is true – if you need a genuine loving friend just get a dog.

Tell me, what is the highest form of love?

I’ll tell you, it is called Agape Love – the totally pure and selfless love of one person for another.

Do you want to experience this highest form of love, agape love?

Simple, just get yourself a pet dog, a nice cute little puppy, and make a commitment to look after it as your own child.

You will learn The Art of Friendship from your dog.

There is nothing to surpass the strong affection, warm attachment, unselfish loyalty, total trust and true friendship of a pet dog who will love you unconditionally for its entire life.

You will love to come home to the enthusiastic greeting and genuine welcome that your dog will give you each time you return home which will fill you with love and joy.

Your pet dog will give you loyal jovial companionship and unquestioning affection forever, fill you with buoyant happiness and your life will become bright and breezy.

Remember, your girlfriend or boyfriend may dump you, your spouse may divorce you, your children may abandon you, your parents may disown you, your relatives may distance themselves from you, your colleagues may shun you, your neighbours may ostracize you, but your dog will always love you, be loyal to you and never leave your side – yes, you may get rid of your dog, but your dog will always love you and never leave you of its own accord.

In fact, investing your time and love in your dog is much more rewarding than wasting time, money and emotional effort indulging in unrequited romances and infructuous relationships.

Once the dog joins your family, invest your love and time to build a special bond that only a dog can offer and see how your dog makes you learn and practice the Art of Loving and the Art of Friendship.

Just go ahead. Get a pet dog. You’ll be happy you did and your life will change forever.

There is plenty of choice – whether you live in the city or the mofussil, in an apartment or bungalow, whatever your lifestyle, age and state of health, there is always a type of dog which will suit your personality and lifestyle. I’ll tell you more about that later – on what type of dog will suit your lifestyle.

Bow Wow!

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com

http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve

vikramkarve@sify.com