MEDITATIONS ON A MONDAY MORNING
by
VIKRAM KARVE
Some things are under our control, others are not. Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and cannot control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible .
…Epictetus
Thoughts play a very important role in your life, whereas your feelings can make or break you; also affecting the lives of others around you.
We often let our attitudes or feelings govern our lives. We let feelings drive our thoughts, not realizing that thoughts drive actions, actions produce results, and results in turn produce more feelings, causing a vicious circle which may ultimately lead to loss of self-control.
Feelings are not totally controllable, as many times feelings are produced by external circumstances beyond your control, and if negative feelings are allowed to drive our thoughts and actions, then undesirable results emanate.
These undesirable results in turn produce further not-so-good feelings, and the vicious cycle continues. This is true for any unpleasant or negative feelings, like anger, envy, disgust or hatred, which tend to drive our thoughts and actions, and quickly take charge of our lives.
An analysis of other options indicates that neither actions nor results are suitable alternative drivers since they also are not totally controllable and will not always be pleasing.
The best solution is to establish ‘thought’ as the driver is because it is controllable and we can get good results. Moreover there is a matter of choice. It is in our control to think good and interesting thoughts. The happiest person is he or she who thinks the most interesting and good thoughts.
The human mind cannot totally prevent poor quality thoughts from arising, but it can choose whether or not to dwell on them. The mind moves from dwelling on poor quality thoughts by selecting alternative beneficial or pleasant thoughts to focus on.
Choosing to be driven by thoughts and then controlling those thoughts allows the best possible results. Positive thoughts lead to good performance (action), which yields desirable results, which in turn produces good feelings.
Good feelings are conducive to better thoughts and progressively this cycle facilities a high degree of self-control and feeling of happiness.
When good thoughts are combined with good potential the results can be remarkable. Thus, the very basis of self-control is refusing to allow our feelings to control our responses and dwelling instead on good, pleasant, joy-producing positive thoughts.
Develop and apply your skill to control your thoughts. That is the key to a happy and healthy life.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
mailto:vikramkarve@sify.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
http://www.indiaplaza.in/finalpage.aspx?storename=books&sku=9788190690096&ct=2
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o
http://books.sulekha.com/book/appetite-for-a-stroll/default.htm
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
WHY YOU GET FRUSTRATED
PATHS TO FRUSTRATION
[Musings]
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Frustration can be a major cause of stress in your daily life and it may be worthwhile to ponder on the various reasons for your frustration.
Well, here is one.
People often become frustrated when they must choose between their personal desires and pleasing other people.
There are five basic ways people react in such situations of conflict between personal goals versus interpersonal relationships and each type of response can be a source of frustration.
EGOIST: First of all, a person may pursue his personal desires and forget about interpersonal relationships. The individual so described would be the EGOIST who cares little about stepping on others as long as he or she gets to the top of the ladder or achieves his or her personal goals. An Egoist’s frustration emanates from the displeasure of others. The others may outwardly smile at him because of his power but they secretly would like to “stab him in the back” and the egoist knows this and it inwardly pricks his conscience deep inside.
ALTRUIST: Second, a person may try to please everyone by setting aside his own aspirations. This individual is afflicted by “The Disease to Please” and is a person who can never say “NO”. His frustration results from lack of personal achievement and the realization that complete altruism is not always self-satisfying.
WHEELER-DEALER: Third, a person may try to achieve all his ambitions and simultaneously please everyone. This person is the typical “Wheeler-Dealer”. He is maximally frustrated, since it is virtually an impossible task to be all things to all people and please everyone, including his own self, all the time in all situations.
HERMIT: Fourth, a person may decide to be an ostrich and bury his head in the sand. This describes the HERMIT. He also becomes very frustrated because he achieves nothing and pleases no one, not even himself.
COMPROMISER: Fifth and finally, one may choose to go halfway. Such a person is the compromiser or the person who can’t seem to make up his mind. But even he is frustrated because he may sacrifice worthwhile personal goals or fail really to please some important people, since he has decided on a middle course.
WORK OUT YOUR OWN SOLUTION:
Dear Reader, sit in silent solitude, close your eyes, reflect, introspect, think of your recent situations of conflict between your personal desires and pleasing others.
Are you an egoist, altruist, wheeler-dealer, hermit or a compromiser?
Or are you somewhere in between?
Do you change with different personal desires and different people, or is your behaviour consistent with everyone?
You have to work out own solution; understanding yourself is the first step.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
vikramkarve@sify.com
[Musings]
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Frustration can be a major cause of stress in your daily life and it may be worthwhile to ponder on the various reasons for your frustration.
Well, here is one.
People often become frustrated when they must choose between their personal desires and pleasing other people.
There are five basic ways people react in such situations of conflict between personal goals versus interpersonal relationships and each type of response can be a source of frustration.
EGOIST: First of all, a person may pursue his personal desires and forget about interpersonal relationships. The individual so described would be the EGOIST who cares little about stepping on others as long as he or she gets to the top of the ladder or achieves his or her personal goals. An Egoist’s frustration emanates from the displeasure of others. The others may outwardly smile at him because of his power but they secretly would like to “stab him in the back” and the egoist knows this and it inwardly pricks his conscience deep inside.
ALTRUIST: Second, a person may try to please everyone by setting aside his own aspirations. This individual is afflicted by “The Disease to Please” and is a person who can never say “NO”. His frustration results from lack of personal achievement and the realization that complete altruism is not always self-satisfying.
WHEELER-DEALER: Third, a person may try to achieve all his ambitions and simultaneously please everyone. This person is the typical “Wheeler-Dealer”. He is maximally frustrated, since it is virtually an impossible task to be all things to all people and please everyone, including his own self, all the time in all situations.
HERMIT: Fourth, a person may decide to be an ostrich and bury his head in the sand. This describes the HERMIT. He also becomes very frustrated because he achieves nothing and pleases no one, not even himself.
COMPROMISER: Fifth and finally, one may choose to go halfway. Such a person is the compromiser or the person who can’t seem to make up his mind. But even he is frustrated because he may sacrifice worthwhile personal goals or fail really to please some important people, since he has decided on a middle course.
WORK OUT YOUR OWN SOLUTION:
Dear Reader, sit in silent solitude, close your eyes, reflect, introspect, think of your recent situations of conflict between your personal desires and pleasing others.
Are you an egoist, altruist, wheeler-dealer, hermit or a compromiser?
Or are you somewhere in between?
Do you change with different personal desires and different people, or is your behaviour consistent with everyone?
You have to work out own solution; understanding yourself is the first step.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
vikramkarve@sify.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)