Sunday, May 30, 2010
Monday, July 20, 2009
DOG PHILOSOPHY and ART OF LIVING
SHERRY FETCHING THE NEWSPAPER FOR ME
My Friend, Philosopher and Guide
SHERRY & THE ART OF LIVING
Food for Thought
By
VIKRAM KARVE
If you want to learn the Art of Living just observe the way animals live and react to situations.
Please see her picture with me alongside and above, fetching the morning newspaper from the compound gate for me. As you can see Sherry is DobermanX – the “X” factor is probably a Rampur Hound.
Sherry behaves spontaneously, joyfully, based on her inner instinct.
She plays, she barks, she chases, she eats and she sleeps in accordance with her natural instinct.
Sherry doesn’t need to go to gym [for physical fitness] or a therapist [for mental fitness].
Sherry is not a Goal Oriented person. She is an Inner Resource Oriented person – in short, a Source Oriented person.
Conventional wisdom teaches us to become goal-oriented. From childhood there are goals set for us to achieve, and when we achieve one goal there is always another goal waiting for us – it is an endless pursuit, a chase which never culminates.
We are taught that a goal oriented person is a person who always succeeds in life. But is there a final destination of success? Do you ever reach your final goal?
Goals are always outside you, goals are in the future, far away from you. Your goals are not in your control. If you design your lifestyle in such a way that your happiness depends on things outside you, things in the future and not in your control, then you may find happiness elusive and you may never be truly content and happy. If you are too result-oriented – you’ll always be chasing horizons.
Remember, if you run after something it runs away from you, and, conversely, if you run away from something it runs after you – so stop running and life a more Source-Oriented life.
Look inwards, discover and harness your inner resources, act instinctively and you will realize your full creative potential.
Like Sherry, you will live spontaneously, unpredictably, act on the spur of the moment and experience the joy of the glorious uncertainties of life rather than get frustrated by them.
You will live a more stress free life too. Have you seen wild animals suffering from stress? [Maybe some domesticated pet animals are stressed-out because we humans put stress on them by imposing our “goals” and demands on the poor hapless pets].
We have become so preoccupied with achieving success that our lives are always heading towards something in the future. In the process, we lose touch with the aliveness and delight of the present. Sherry does not worry about the future, about achieving future goals, but live in the present.
Sherry does not live in the past either. She is very forgiving – even if I scold her, which I never need to do, she is back to her cheerful self in a jiffy and doesn’t hold any grudges either.
Anger is a reality. It happens inside us. Goal Oriented behaviour may result in us suppressing our anger creating stress within us.
Here is a lesson I got one morning from Sherry in Anger Management by Source Oriented living.
Our spacious bungalow, located high up on a hill slope, affords a beautiful panoramic view of the verdant wide green expanse of Girinagar all around.
This morning while we strolled on our lawn sipping rejuvenating cups of piping hot amruttulya tea in the lovely mist and slight drizzle, I noticed Sherry standing alert at the bungalow gate looking intently, focussing on something outside, and gradually getting angry, as evident from her focussed eyes, slow growls, heightened breathing, stiff upright tail and vivid line of hair standing taut on the centre of her neck and back, hackles raised.
I walked towards the gate and looked outside – the object of her attention was a huge white cat that was walking nonchalantly towards the gate, almost defiantly. The moment the cat came close, Sherry suddenly lost her temper, started barking, violently jumping, infuriated with anger, desperately pleading with me to open the gate. The cat stopped dead in her tracks and crouched, and I knew that if I let Sherry out, she would desperately, frenziedly chase the cat down the hill, and if she caught the cat, there would ensue a violent fight to the finish, and most likely it would be the cat who would be finished.
So I just walked away and Sherry realized that I wasn’t going to open the gate, went so wild with rage, that she ran amok, running wildly all round the spacious compound, taking high speed runs, jumping over hedges, barking, chasing, leaping at birds, running fast at top speed round and round the bungalow, till she was totally exhausted, after which she went to her water bowl, lapped up cold soothing water, and lay down on her rug in a cosy manner, calm, tranquil, totally relaxed, her anger totally dissipated and dissolved into peaceful serenity.
That’s what one must do when angry, isn’t it? If you do get angry, get totally and physically angry and dissipate your anger - don't supress your anger.
Let me tell you it works - the moment you sense anger rising within you start exercising, run, jog, take a brisk walk, dance, move your limbs, sway, do something.
Spontaneously do some physical activity till your anger dissipates and exhausts itself into a state of calm.
So, Dear Reader, the next time you start getting angry, do what Sherry does – just start running till your anger disappears and you collapse into a cosy state of peaceful calm and tranquillity.
There is a lot to learn about the “Art of Living” from our animal friends, isn’t it?
So just behave naturally, spontaneously, doing you’re your inner voice and instinct tells you, observe fauna and flora around you, and most importantly, get a pet dog and make him or her your friend, philosopher and guide.
I’ll end with a quote on dogs from Sigmund Freud:
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object-relations -- Sigmund Freud
VIKRAM KARVE
Monday, July 13, 2009
Get Rid of Frustration
PATHS TO FRUSTRATION
[Musings]
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Frustration can be a major cause of stress in your daily life and it may be worthwhile to ponder on the various reasons for your frustration.
Well, here is one.
People often become frustrated when they must choose between their personal desires and pleasing other people.
There are five basic ways people react in such situations of conflict between personal goals versus interpersonal relationships and each type of response can be a source of frustration.
EGOIST: First of all, a person may pursue his personal desires and forget about interpersonal relationships. The individual so described would be the EGOIST who cares little about stepping on others as long as he or she gets to the top of the ladder or achieves his or her personal goals. An Egoist’s frustration emanates from the displeasure of others. The others may outwardly smile at him because of his power but they secretly would like to “stab him in the back” and the egoist knows this and it inwardly pricks his conscience deep inside.
ALTRUIST: Second, a person may try to please everyone by setting aside his own aspirations. This individual is afflicted by “The Disease to Please” and is a person who can never say “NO”. His frustration results from lack of personal achievement and the realization that complete altruism is not always self-satisfying.
WHEELER-DEALER: Third, a person may try to achieve all his ambitions and simultaneously please everyone. This person is the typical “Wheeler-Dealer”. He is maximally frustrated, since it is virtually an impossible task to be all things to all people and please everyone, including his own self, all the time in all situations.
HERMIT: Fourth, a person may decide to be an ostrich and bury his head in the sand. This describes the HERMIT. He also becomes very frustrated because he achieves nothing and pleases no one, not even himself.
COMPROMISER: Fifth and finally, one may choose to go halfway. Such a person is the compromiser or the person who can’t seem to make up his mind. But even he is frustrated because he may sacrifice worthwhile personal goals or fail really to please some important people, since he has decided on a middle course.
WORK OUT YOUR OWN SOLUTION:
Dear Reader, sit in silent solitude, close your eyes, reflect, introspect, think of your recent situations of conflict between your personal desires and pleasing others.
Are you an egoist, altruist, wheeler-dealer, hermit or a compromiser?
Or are you somewhere in between?
Do you change with different personal desires and different people, or is your behaviour consistent with everyone?
You have to work out own solution; understanding yourself is the first step.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
vikramkarve@sify.com
[Musings]
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Frustration can be a major cause of stress in your daily life and it may be worthwhile to ponder on the various reasons for your frustration.
Well, here is one.
People often become frustrated when they must choose between their personal desires and pleasing other people.
There are five basic ways people react in such situations of conflict between personal goals versus interpersonal relationships and each type of response can be a source of frustration.
EGOIST: First of all, a person may pursue his personal desires and forget about interpersonal relationships. The individual so described would be the EGOIST who cares little about stepping on others as long as he or she gets to the top of the ladder or achieves his or her personal goals. An Egoist’s frustration emanates from the displeasure of others. The others may outwardly smile at him because of his power but they secretly would like to “stab him in the back” and the egoist knows this and it inwardly pricks his conscience deep inside.
ALTRUIST: Second, a person may try to please everyone by setting aside his own aspirations. This individual is afflicted by “The Disease to Please” and is a person who can never say “NO”. His frustration results from lack of personal achievement and the realization that complete altruism is not always self-satisfying.
WHEELER-DEALER: Third, a person may try to achieve all his ambitions and simultaneously please everyone. This person is the typical “Wheeler-Dealer”. He is maximally frustrated, since it is virtually an impossible task to be all things to all people and please everyone, including his own self, all the time in all situations.
HERMIT: Fourth, a person may decide to be an ostrich and bury his head in the sand. This describes the HERMIT. He also becomes very frustrated because he achieves nothing and pleases no one, not even himself.
COMPROMISER: Fifth and finally, one may choose to go halfway. Such a person is the compromiser or the person who can’t seem to make up his mind. But even he is frustrated because he may sacrifice worthwhile personal goals or fail really to please some important people, since he has decided on a middle course.
WORK OUT YOUR OWN SOLUTION:
Dear Reader, sit in silent solitude, close your eyes, reflect, introspect, think of your recent situations of conflict between your personal desires and pleasing others.
Are you an egoist, altruist, wheeler-dealer, hermit or a compromiser?
Or are you somewhere in between?
Do you change with different personal desires and different people, or is your behaviour consistent with everyone?
You have to work out own solution; understanding yourself is the first step.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@hotmail.com
vikramkarve@sify.com
How to get a Good Friend
Agape Love – If You need a Friend get a Dog
By
VIKRAM KARVE
I still remember the apt quote from Gordon Gekko [Michael Douglas] in the classic movie “Wall Street”: If you need a friend, get a dog.
It is true – if you need a genuine loving friend just get a dog.
Tell me, what is the highest form of love?
I’ll tell you, it is called Agape Love – the totally pure and selfless love of one person for another.
Do you want to experience this highest form of love, agape love?
Simple, just get yourself a pet dog, a nice cute little puppy, and make a commitment to look after it as your own child.
You will learn The Art of Friendship from your dog.
There is nothing to surpass the strong affection, warm attachment, unselfish loyalty, total trust and true friendship of a pet dog who will love you unconditionally for its entire life.
You will love to come home to the enthusiastic greeting and genuine welcome that your dog will give you each time you return home which will fill you with love and joy.
Your pet dog will give you loyal jovial companionship and unquestioning affection forever, fill you with buoyant happiness and your life will become bright and breezy.
Remember, your girlfriend or boyfriend may dump you, your spouse may divorce you, your children may abandon you, your parents may disown you, your relatives may distance themselves from you, your colleagues may shun you, your neighbours may ostracize you, but your dog will always love you, be loyal to you and never leave your side – yes, you may get rid of your dog, but your dog will always love you and never leave you of its own accord.
In fact, investing your time and love in your dog is much more rewarding than wasting time, money and emotional effort indulging in unrequited romances and infructuous relationships.
Once the dog joins your family, invest your love and time to build a special bond that only a dog can offer and see how your dog makes you learn and practice the Art of Loving and the Art of Friendship.
Just go ahead. Get a pet dog. You’ll be happy you did and your life will change forever.
There is plenty of choice – whether you live in the city or the mofussil, in an apartment or bungalow, whatever your lifestyle, age and state of health, there is always a type of dog which will suit your personality and lifestyle. I’ll tell you more about that later – on what type of dog will suit your lifestyle.
Bow Wow!
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
By
VIKRAM KARVE
I still remember the apt quote from Gordon Gekko [Michael Douglas] in the classic movie “Wall Street”: If you need a friend, get a dog.
It is true – if you need a genuine loving friend just get a dog.
Tell me, what is the highest form of love?
I’ll tell you, it is called Agape Love – the totally pure and selfless love of one person for another.
Do you want to experience this highest form of love, agape love?
Simple, just get yourself a pet dog, a nice cute little puppy, and make a commitment to look after it as your own child.
You will learn The Art of Friendship from your dog.
There is nothing to surpass the strong affection, warm attachment, unselfish loyalty, total trust and true friendship of a pet dog who will love you unconditionally for its entire life.
You will love to come home to the enthusiastic greeting and genuine welcome that your dog will give you each time you return home which will fill you with love and joy.
Your pet dog will give you loyal jovial companionship and unquestioning affection forever, fill you with buoyant happiness and your life will become bright and breezy.
Remember, your girlfriend or boyfriend may dump you, your spouse may divorce you, your children may abandon you, your parents may disown you, your relatives may distance themselves from you, your colleagues may shun you, your neighbours may ostracize you, but your dog will always love you, be loyal to you and never leave your side – yes, you may get rid of your dog, but your dog will always love you and never leave you of its own accord.
In fact, investing your time and love in your dog is much more rewarding than wasting time, money and emotional effort indulging in unrequited romances and infructuous relationships.
Once the dog joins your family, invest your love and time to build a special bond that only a dog can offer and see how your dog makes you learn and practice the Art of Loving and the Art of Friendship.
Just go ahead. Get a pet dog. You’ll be happy you did and your life will change forever.
There is plenty of choice – whether you live in the city or the mofussil, in an apartment or bungalow, whatever your lifestyle, age and state of health, there is always a type of dog which will suit your personality and lifestyle. I’ll tell you more about that later – on what type of dog will suit your lifestyle.
Bow Wow!
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Zest for Life, Passion for Learning & Thirst for Knowledge
HOW TO REMAIN YOUNG
Anti Ageing Formula
By
VIKRAM KARVE
There are a number of retired senior citizens in the colony where I live in Pune. Yes, there are large numbers of pensioners in Pune though Pune is no longer a pensioners’ paradise.
I have noticed one intriguing thing. Though most are of the same chronological age, some are “young” and some are “old”.
Further observation reveals the formula for remaining young: Zest for Living and Passion for Learning is the best anti-ageing recipe that keeps you young forever.
Look around you and you will see what I mean. There are many oldie-goldies who are living life to the fullest and always eager to learn new things and there are also others who have no “juice” left in them as they have lost the spirit to enjoy learning with enthusiasm and relish the pleasures of life to their utmost.
I know a “young” senior citizen who, after retirement, started learning classical music from the scratch, enjoyed studying for 10 years till he completed his sangeet alankar, living life to the fullest in epicurean style – good food, music, concerts, plays, movies, travel, picnics, swimming, trekking, playing with his dogs, social work, you name it – he did it; and with the advent of internet he is enjoying moments exploring the mysteries of the web, learning new things and latest technologies, actively blogging with passionate fervour, and with gusto doing all sorts of learning activites, creative writing, surfing, social networking, making virtual friends, teaching music – for him variety is the spice of life.
He lives a delightfully active life, loves the company of youngsters and has the enthusiasm and energy of a child – and though in his late seventies he is “younger” than even those chronologically many years his junior and it is his zest for life, passion for learning and thirst for knowledge that keeps him healthy, happy and youthful.
Remember you are as old as you feel, not as old as you look, or as old as you chronologically are.
I will end this piece with a quote from Mahatma Gandhi:
Live as if you are going to die tomorrow
Learn as if you are going to live forever.
It is breathtakingly simple to remain young, Dear Reader. All you’ve got to do is to have a zest for living, passion for learning and “Live as if you are going to die tomorrow, learn as if you are going to live forever!”
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
Anti Ageing Formula
By
VIKRAM KARVE
There are a number of retired senior citizens in the colony where I live in Pune. Yes, there are large numbers of pensioners in Pune though Pune is no longer a pensioners’ paradise.
I have noticed one intriguing thing. Though most are of the same chronological age, some are “young” and some are “old”.
Further observation reveals the formula for remaining young: Zest for Living and Passion for Learning is the best anti-ageing recipe that keeps you young forever.
Look around you and you will see what I mean. There are many oldie-goldies who are living life to the fullest and always eager to learn new things and there are also others who have no “juice” left in them as they have lost the spirit to enjoy learning with enthusiasm and relish the pleasures of life to their utmost.
I know a “young” senior citizen who, after retirement, started learning classical music from the scratch, enjoyed studying for 10 years till he completed his sangeet alankar, living life to the fullest in epicurean style – good food, music, concerts, plays, movies, travel, picnics, swimming, trekking, playing with his dogs, social work, you name it – he did it; and with the advent of internet he is enjoying moments exploring the mysteries of the web, learning new things and latest technologies, actively blogging with passionate fervour, and with gusto doing all sorts of learning activites, creative writing, surfing, social networking, making virtual friends, teaching music – for him variety is the spice of life.
He lives a delightfully active life, loves the company of youngsters and has the enthusiasm and energy of a child – and though in his late seventies he is “younger” than even those chronologically many years his junior and it is his zest for life, passion for learning and thirst for knowledge that keeps him healthy, happy and youthful.
Remember you are as old as you feel, not as old as you look, or as old as you chronologically are.
I will end this piece with a quote from Mahatma Gandhi:
Live as if you are going to die tomorrow
Learn as if you are going to live forever.
It is breathtakingly simple to remain young, Dear Reader. All you’ve got to do is to have a zest for living, passion for learning and “Live as if you are going to die tomorrow, learn as if you are going to live forever!”
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
vikramkarve@sify.com
Sunday, June 7, 2009
MEDITATIONS ON A MONDAY MORNING
by
VIKRAM KARVE
Some things are under our control, others are not. Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and cannot control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible .
…Epictetus
Thoughts play a very important role in your life, whereas your feelings can make or break you; also affecting the lives of others around you.
We often let our attitudes or feelings govern our lives. We let feelings drive our thoughts, not realizing that thoughts drive actions, actions produce results, and results in turn produce more feelings, causing a vicious circle which may ultimately lead to loss of self-control.
Feelings are not totally controllable, as many times feelings are produced by external circumstances beyond your control, and if negative feelings are allowed to drive our thoughts and actions, then undesirable results emanate.
These undesirable results in turn produce further not-so-good feelings, and the vicious cycle continues. This is true for any unpleasant or negative feelings, like anger, envy, disgust or hatred, which tend to drive our thoughts and actions, and quickly take charge of our lives.
An analysis of other options indicates that neither actions nor results are suitable alternative drivers since they also are not totally controllable and will not always be pleasing.
The best solution is to establish ‘thought’ as the driver is because it is controllable and we can get good results. Moreover there is a matter of choice. It is in our control to think good and interesting thoughts. The happiest person is he or she who thinks the most interesting and good thoughts.
The human mind cannot totally prevent poor quality thoughts from arising, but it can choose whether or not to dwell on them. The mind moves from dwelling on poor quality thoughts by selecting alternative beneficial or pleasant thoughts to focus on.
Choosing to be driven by thoughts and then controlling those thoughts allows the best possible results. Positive thoughts lead to good performance (action), which yields desirable results, which in turn produces good feelings.
Good feelings are conducive to better thoughts and progressively this cycle facilities a high degree of self-control and feeling of happiness.
When good thoughts are combined with good potential the results can be remarkable. Thus, the very basis of self-control is refusing to allow our feelings to control our responses and dwelling instead on good, pleasant, joy-producing positive thoughts.
Develop and apply your skill to control your thoughts. That is the key to a happy and healthy life.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
mailto:vikramkarve@sify.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
http://www.indiaplaza.in/finalpage.aspx?storename=books&sku=9788190690096&ct=2
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o
http://books.sulekha.com/book/appetite-for-a-stroll/default.htm
by
VIKRAM KARVE
Some things are under our control, others are not. Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and cannot control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible .
…Epictetus
Thoughts play a very important role in your life, whereas your feelings can make or break you; also affecting the lives of others around you.
We often let our attitudes or feelings govern our lives. We let feelings drive our thoughts, not realizing that thoughts drive actions, actions produce results, and results in turn produce more feelings, causing a vicious circle which may ultimately lead to loss of self-control.
Feelings are not totally controllable, as many times feelings are produced by external circumstances beyond your control, and if negative feelings are allowed to drive our thoughts and actions, then undesirable results emanate.
These undesirable results in turn produce further not-so-good feelings, and the vicious cycle continues. This is true for any unpleasant or negative feelings, like anger, envy, disgust or hatred, which tend to drive our thoughts and actions, and quickly take charge of our lives.
An analysis of other options indicates that neither actions nor results are suitable alternative drivers since they also are not totally controllable and will not always be pleasing.
The best solution is to establish ‘thought’ as the driver is because it is controllable and we can get good results. Moreover there is a matter of choice. It is in our control to think good and interesting thoughts. The happiest person is he or she who thinks the most interesting and good thoughts.
The human mind cannot totally prevent poor quality thoughts from arising, but it can choose whether or not to dwell on them. The mind moves from dwelling on poor quality thoughts by selecting alternative beneficial or pleasant thoughts to focus on.
Choosing to be driven by thoughts and then controlling those thoughts allows the best possible results. Positive thoughts lead to good performance (action), which yields desirable results, which in turn produces good feelings.
Good feelings are conducive to better thoughts and progressively this cycle facilities a high degree of self-control and feeling of happiness.
When good thoughts are combined with good potential the results can be remarkable. Thus, the very basis of self-control is refusing to allow our feelings to control our responses and dwelling instead on good, pleasant, joy-producing positive thoughts.
Develop and apply your skill to control your thoughts. That is the key to a happy and healthy life.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2009
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
mailto:vikramkarve@sify.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
http://www.ryze.com/go/karve
http://www.indiaplaza.in/finalpage.aspx?storename=books&sku=9788190690096&ct=2
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o
http://books.sulekha.com/book/appetite-for-a-stroll/default.htm
Saturday, June 6, 2009
STRESS - Avoid it
COPING WITH STRESS
by
VIKRAM KARVE
First you create stress within yourself, and then try to “manage” it.
Funny, isn’t it?
Why not prevent stress in the first place? Focus on “stress prevention” rather than “stress management”.
Here is a tip on coping with stress.
Long back, sometime in the 1960’s, when I was a small boy, my father took me to visit Belur Math, and there I acquired a tiny pocket book called “Thus Spake Vivekananda”.
Whenever the chips were down, or I felt dejected, I referred to the inspiring gems of wisdom, distilled from the complete works of Swami Vivekanada, for instant motivation and strength.
Here’s one of those gems of wisdom [a phrase from the sayings of Swami Vivekananda]:
Anything that makes you weak physically, intellectually, and spiritually, reject as poison.
I feel that the word “weak” is all encompassing and embraces anything that creates in you a stressful situation like all negative emotions and feelings including anger, irritation, infuriation, frustration, despondency, depression, demoralization, unhappiness – anything that disturbs your inner tranquility and equanimity, drains you emotionally and intellectually, besides literal physical weakness.
Oh yes, Stress is weakness, Stress is Poison!
Now sit down in a quiet tranquil place, close your eyes, introspect, and try to think of all the things that make you feel negative – all your stress-creators and stressful situations. These stress-creators and stress facilitators can be a variety of things:Toxic or incompatible persons, who irritate, annoy and hassle you, Foods and beverages which don’t suit you and are physically detrimental, Stressful activities, which initially may appear pleasurable, but actually drain you out, and many avoidable Stress Creating Situations,Technology and gadgets, like your cell-phone, which disturb your peace of mind,Strained relationships, which are a source of stress,and many more such things - just sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and think of all the things and entities that create or foster stree in you. Make an exhaustive list of all the things that make you “weak” and try to reject them as “poison”.
At first you may be a bit skeptical about this approach, but when you start implementing, you’ll be surprised how much it is in your own control to prevent stress.While you reject the things that make you weak, you must also reinforce the things that make you feel "strong" and positive.
So simultaneously, reflect and contemplate, and make a list of things which give you strength and joy, make you happy and productive – all the things and people that create positive feelings in you – and try to devote as much time and energy to these positive things that give you strength and make you feel good.
When you spend most of your time doing "happiness-creating" activities and try to be in the company of persons who make you feel happy, things that make you feel "strong", you will be infused with positive feelings of joy and there will be no place for stress to enter your life, at least in those joyful moments.
This technique of stress prevention works for me, and I’m sure it’ll work for you too.You will realise that this way of conquering stress and banishing it from your life is so effective probably because it is so breathtaking in its simplicity.
VIKRAM KARVE
mailto:vikramkarve@sify.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
by
VIKRAM KARVE
First you create stress within yourself, and then try to “manage” it.
Funny, isn’t it?
Why not prevent stress in the first place? Focus on “stress prevention” rather than “stress management”.
Here is a tip on coping with stress.
Long back, sometime in the 1960’s, when I was a small boy, my father took me to visit Belur Math, and there I acquired a tiny pocket book called “Thus Spake Vivekananda”.
Whenever the chips were down, or I felt dejected, I referred to the inspiring gems of wisdom, distilled from the complete works of Swami Vivekanada, for instant motivation and strength.
Here’s one of those gems of wisdom [a phrase from the sayings of Swami Vivekananda]:
Anything that makes you weak physically, intellectually, and spiritually, reject as poison.
I feel that the word “weak” is all encompassing and embraces anything that creates in you a stressful situation like all negative emotions and feelings including anger, irritation, infuriation, frustration, despondency, depression, demoralization, unhappiness – anything that disturbs your inner tranquility and equanimity, drains you emotionally and intellectually, besides literal physical weakness.
Oh yes, Stress is weakness, Stress is Poison!
Now sit down in a quiet tranquil place, close your eyes, introspect, and try to think of all the things that make you feel negative – all your stress-creators and stressful situations. These stress-creators and stress facilitators can be a variety of things:Toxic or incompatible persons, who irritate, annoy and hassle you, Foods and beverages which don’t suit you and are physically detrimental, Stressful activities, which initially may appear pleasurable, but actually drain you out, and many avoidable Stress Creating Situations,Technology and gadgets, like your cell-phone, which disturb your peace of mind,Strained relationships, which are a source of stress,and many more such things - just sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and think of all the things and entities that create or foster stree in you. Make an exhaustive list of all the things that make you “weak” and try to reject them as “poison”.
At first you may be a bit skeptical about this approach, but when you start implementing, you’ll be surprised how much it is in your own control to prevent stress.While you reject the things that make you weak, you must also reinforce the things that make you feel "strong" and positive.
So simultaneously, reflect and contemplate, and make a list of things which give you strength and joy, make you happy and productive – all the things and people that create positive feelings in you – and try to devote as much time and energy to these positive things that give you strength and make you feel good.
When you spend most of your time doing "happiness-creating" activities and try to be in the company of persons who make you feel happy, things that make you feel "strong", you will be infused with positive feelings of joy and there will be no place for stress to enter your life, at least in those joyful moments.
This technique of stress prevention works for me, and I’m sure it’ll work for you too.You will realise that this way of conquering stress and banishing it from your life is so effective probably because it is so breathtaking in its simplicity.
VIKRAM KARVE
mailto:vikramkarve@sify.com
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
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